While sitting at my kids school and heard two women gossiping about other people’s relationship. I laughed at the one women that kept saying, “If I was her I would leave him.” The problems that were presented in the conversation varied. One issue that sticks out was her best friend husband rarely does housework. Her companion’s response was: “If I was her I would leave him.”
Of course this had me trying to hide my laughter. By the end of the conversation I realized that both women were single and wanting to get married. This made this conversation even more hilarious because it is easy to say what you won’t tolerate when you aren’t in the exact situation.
This had me thinking about being younger and thinking I wanted to get married. Thinking there was a knight and shinning armor coming to rescue me. Funny, right? Damn Disney movies! So I get older then realize that was the silliest and unrealistic view of relationships. Then I start to see those around me get married. On the outside they seem like they are so super happy.. Like their life was somehow “complete” because they found each other. After all, they were destined to be together, right?
Well, with random conversations with different women I know I realized that we all have some varying degrees of “issues”. Two women I know have husbands that have had affairs. One husband even got another woman pregnant. Another women has been married close to a decade and the last two years the communication has completely shut down. They don’t even have the united front anymore! Anyone can see the strain this relationship is under and it’s actually painful to watch. The other marriage seems fun and light yet their vast differences (what initially was attractive) seem to be slowly driving them both crazy.
Do these couples still fight for their marriage or should they move on? When should you just split?
I too, have taken the plunge and like anything it takes dedication. It is easy to say I do, but harder to do the work everyday through different trials. I say there is not a one size fit all answer to working out marital issues. Every couple has to do what is best for them.
I am a self proclaimed book junkie. I will buy books from literally anywhere and hoard them. I have quite a few a few books I bought and I said “I am going to so read this later”. Later never happens and I am left with a ton of books- unread books. I said I was going to start finishing my books and overall reading more. I keep saying I am too busy to read but I constantly find myself with time. This past week I pick up a book that I started oh so long ago and started back reading it.
I learned something when I picked up this book:
If I turn the t.v. off then I have more time to read. That was my AHA! moment. Thanks Oprah! So in turn I do have a little time to read and so I am going to make better use of my time.
The book I am reading is by E. Lynn Harris. E. Lynn is one of my favorite authors. I actually have a stalkerish story about him. Well years back I worked in a camera shop that printed pictures and guess who pictures I got to print…….. Yes! It was exciting to get to look at the life a an author I have loved for years. He also had the best assistant ever! If you ever want to pick up a book by the late great Harris then you are in for a treat. He has very interesting books including his autobiography entitled “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted. It was very raw and real. I will keep you all updated on my reading!
What books are you reading?
It has been such a long time since I have blogged…. well.. it’s been forever. It’s a new year and it is ridiculously cold her in Atlanta. I try not to resolutions but of course I did one. Mostly little task that I have been meaning to get to. Mostly to read more, blog more, Instagram more… you know the stuff normal people put on their list (yeah right). I also said I would stay away from Pinterest but I lied. It’s an addiction! I plan to just do more and stay positive. The Grinch in me has left the building and I am looking forward to many great things this year and one being me turning 30! whoa. Great things to look forward to and I will share all my experiences of my life.
Love you all!
It has been such a long time since I have blogged…. well.. it’s been forever. It’s a new year and it is ridiculously cold her in Atlanta. I try not to resolutions but of course I did one. Mostly little task that I have been meaning to get to. Mostly to read more, blog more, Instagram more… you know the stuff normal people put on their list (yeah right). I also said I would stay away from Pinterset but I lied. It’s an addiction! I plan to just do more and stay positive. The Grinch in me has left the building and I am looking forward to many great things this year and one being me turning 30! whoa. Great things to look forward to and I will share all my experiences of my perfection imperfectly.
-Love you all!
Let me start off by saying I love the holidays. Well…. it is more of a love hate relationship that I have with the holidays. I love the family togetherness and the food. I love the excitement that the kids have about the holidays. The joy they exude is magical and special. I think that is the best part for me. I spoke to soon…. THE SALES!
The sales come with a price……. those ridiculous lines. Thank goodness for those cyber sales.
Then there is the Grinch in me that struggles to stay suppressed. One of the things I hate about the Holidays is all of those dreadful songs! I hate holiday music and especially when I am stuck in line at a store that has 50 checkouts but only has two lines open. I hate the fugly Christmas sweaters. Those sweaters remind me when I was a child and my favorite Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Upchurch would were them. She was awesome but I still hate those sweaters!
Back to the dreadful songs. Everyone under the sun has made a Christmas song but rarely do you get a good spin on the old classics. There are a few tolerable Christmas song I can tolerate but for the most part they suck. These remind me of growing up and my mom would play Christmas music from the time she woke up until she went to sleep. I smile at the memory but I think I am forever scorned!
I like that we are all warm and friendly for two months (November and December), but why not all year? Why can’t we spread cheer and joy throughout the whole year? I say we need to start checking our happy and friendly meter throughout the whole year!
What is your worst and favorite part of this time of year?
P.S. Happy Holidays!
I love this time of year in Georgia. The leaves are beautiful and the weather is awesome. I love the clothing you get to wear this time of year. Boots and scarves are my favorite!
I love the kids playing in the leaves. I love the excitement of the kids as the holidays close in. Oh and sales!!! I love the sales! Its the only time of year I am not outside sweating!
What’s your favorite time of year?
This is one of my favorite pieces of jewelry that I made. I have so many pictures I need to upload!
So I ran into my brothers girlfriend yesterday (she came to my rescue when I locked my keys in my ignition at Wal-Mart), and she asked me if I liked her new hair style. I was not opposed to the new hairstyle but I did not particularly care for the color but of course I said “It’s fantabolous!” She lost a lot of weight and has been embarking on this new journey to reinvent herself, which is great. Her self-esteem has been at an all time high and I felt like I wanted to support her efforts.
This brings me to my question: Should we be honest or not?
We can all agree that there have been times you have no choice but to lie so that we not hurt someones feelings. “Do I look fat in this dress”? “Do you think my boyfriend is cheating on me”?
Is there a time in which you should tell the truth when someone ask for your opinion?
Many of us have encountered the Debby Downer, you know the friend (or relative) that is always in some sort of somber mood. Well, how do you deal with them? I, myself have dealt with several Debby Downers but one in particular takes the cake. While I won’t call her out by name, she and I have spent a lot of time together. Now I would not say we are friends but by circumstances of others we are often around each other. Out of four years I can not every remember being around her happy or at least in a relatively good mood. How is that even possible? The first time I met her she was cool but the very next time I saw her, at my daughters first birthday, she was almost in tears. Every Christmas, Thanksgiving, my birthday, her birthday, rain or shine she is sad. Then there was the my oldest daughters’ 5th birthday and there she was in the corner pouting. She did not want to talk to anyone she was just angry. It was so bad that my ma asked her “why every time I see you, you are upset”? She asked her what we all thought which caused a laugh. I even suggested going to seek medical help which brings me to her frequent visits to the ER. Well, that would be a whole other conversation. The one on one conversations that she and I have had (rare) I could see she has greatness to offer. She sucks you in by the sad stories she has and through the years we all have heard them and reheard them in different ways. You instantly feel bad for her and then you start to realize that everyone else is not the bad guy. All the bridges she has burned and the lives the she has created chaos in wouldn’t she want to change her life? The last conversation she had with me was when I told her “To take charge of her life and start a new beginning. I told her that we all end up in a funk sometimes but we all got to get up and try again. We can change our current situations so why not start today. ” She hung up on me and told everyone I was mean to her. So much for encouraging words.
How do you deal with the Debby Downers in your life?
I am so disappointed in myself. I was so going in on my workout routine and then….. well, nothing. I am trying to fight these darn addictions to junk food. Then there is the whole working out thing I mentioned in my “Not So New Years Resolution” piece that already went out the window. I was doing well at first then I realized I was packing too much on my plate. However, I need to workout and cut the sugar, it’s not an option. I am sure there will be many times I make a post like this before I get it right, bare with me. Join along, encourage, and be my shoulder for days I feel I can’t go on. I know I can implement a schedule that will work for me (I just have yet to get it together). I am not afraid to admit failure or lack of follow through.
Back on track and ready to move forward!
-I will be checking in….